how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize