I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
