people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
So squirting runs in the family.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Can you bring me the toilet please
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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