It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
