I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
