Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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