Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
