There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
The air taste purple.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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