I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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