You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
