Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
