We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
After tacos, we're chasing women.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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