At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
