He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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