Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
We're too hungover to prance.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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