You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
