it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
