I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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