i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
