im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
