He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
