Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
