did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
