Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
