i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
