I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
