Sponge bath it is.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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