i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
