During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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