Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Holy sore nipples Batman
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
