I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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