I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
try to milk me bitch
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
