No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
