Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
