guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
