sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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