I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
