i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
