How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
third nipple confirmed
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
