Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
