so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
