seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
