Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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