Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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