All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
