Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
