But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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