**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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