All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
