you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
