I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
