U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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