it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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