He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
then he tried to convert me to islam
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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