you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
