piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
