i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
