He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
