I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
