Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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