the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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