But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize