i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
